Death, or Something Like It
by Gnomeish
Summary: Someone's made a mistake, and poor Harry has to pay for it. He leaves his life behind, but gains something lost. Slightly humorous. Plot is debatable.


I do not own Harry Potter. Nor do I own anything else really.

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I looked down at my own body in shock as I floated above it.

This wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to die.

I'm not spouting some righteous "The hero always wins" crap either. I literally wasn't supposed to die.

Or at least that's what the guy speaking with an Irish accent and holding a clip board told me.

"Oh. Shit. We have a problem here." He said, tapping his pen against the paper. "This says you're supposed to die an old man after defeating Voldemort. Sssss.. someone messed up.. big time... damn. Well. You'll just have to come with me."

The man grabbed Harry by the arm, and the next thing he knew they were in a gigantic building with people bustling about. The strange thing about some of them were that they had wings, or horns, or other odd appendages.

He was pulled down the walkway to a door marked "Accidental Deaths"

The man pushed the door open to reveal a bored looking girl, who's eyes absolutely lit up as they walked in.

"Oh! Wonderful! Business. So what happened?" She said, pulling out a form and a pen.

"Someone messed with a post-it." He said.

The girl sucked in a breath. "Really? Woah! Why? Oh, what's his name, cause of death, time of death..."

"Harry Potter, a staircase moved causing him to fall to his death. Time of death Midnight. "

"When was he supposed to die?" She said, very professionally.

"At the age of 153. We've got a really big problem though." He said.

"What is it then Keith?" She said, pausing with her pen tip hovering over the paper.

"Well, see, there's this evil wizard in Britain."

"Oh! The one making so much work down there?"

"Yeah, anyways, this kid was supposed to defeat him like.. two years from now."

The pen clattered down to the desk. "Really? Woah. That sucks. "

"Yeah, it just stinks of interference. You know how the Big man and the Devil are, always trying to find ways to undermind each other."

"What? The big man? The devil? What's going on!" Harry said, but was ignored.

"Okay. Well, just leave him here. You'll probably be called for an inquiry soon enough."

"Oh, great. I've got other jobs tonight anyways. Er.." He said turning to Harry. "You just sit down in one of the chairs over there. Clara will file the complaint and we'll get everything straightened out." He smiled, but somehow Harry knew he wasn't being totally truthful.

He sat down in the chair anyways, his mind reeling with the craziness of the world, as Clara called her superiors and informed them of the situation.

Soon enough two men in pressed suits and dark sunglasses entered the room.

"Mr. Potter, come with us." They said. Harry had no choice but to walk between and wait as he was ushered into an elevator, going closer and closer to the topmost floor. With a soft ding the elevator opened, revealing a large, sparcely furnished hallway, through which he walked until he was led to a plesant looking office with a view of outside.

A man shortly turned around in his chair, looking at him over his steepled fingers.

"Have a seat Mr. Potter." He said, gesturing. Harry sat down abruptly.

"Now... we have an unfortunate problem here, Mr. Potter."

Harry just stared at him incredulously.

"Yes, it is a bit overwhelming. You'll be happy to know we have found the sorce of the problem! The Devil, you know.. the ruler of the underworld, is of course voting for Voldemort. Since he couldn't persuade you to evil, and being the sore loser he is... he plotted and unfortunately succeeded in killing you. This is where we have a problem. You see, we can't put your soul back into your body."

Harry blinked. "But.. but what about everyone down there? My friends? Remus? The whole world? I'm the only one that can defeat voldemort!"

"Yes, and that is unfortunate. But, we think we have come up with a solution that you'll quite like."

"What is it?" Harry asked, apprehensively. The man smiled wider.

"Well... who do you think the man who came to retrieve you was?"

Harry thought for a moment. "I dont know..."

"He was none other than a Grim Reaper."

Harry blinked again before stuttereing "Grim Reaper? A grim reaper? There are more?"

"Of course! You don't think one person could collect all the souls on earth, do you? No, no, no. Grim reapers are many in abundance. They are people who have been screened to have potential to be a Reaper, and when they die are given the job!"

"So.. what's that got to do with... oh... what?" He shouted.

The man just smiled more. "Exactly! You see, when a person is made into a reaper, they get a new body so they can do their job! You will be positioned in the Hogsmeade division with a few others... you'll have to get a new look of course... and we can't really make your scar go away... so we'll have to move it someplace else..."

"What? A grim reaper? Me?" Harry.

"It's either that or go beyond and leave the world to total chaos and anarchy." The suit said, shrugging.

"Oh. Er. So what do I do now?" Harry asked.

"Well. You just need to hold on." The man said, smiling. He flipped open a little plastic box on top of his desk. Harry leaned forward but was slammed back in his seat as the man pushed the button and he went shooting through the floor.

Strange and wonderful things flashed by him as he zoomed down. He looked forward again and his eyes widened as he saw a wall approaching.

Abruptly the chair stopped in front of a bored looking woman with a tall wig.

"Uh.. hello?" Harry asked, after the woman said nothing for a few moments.

His chair was abruptly turned sideways and pushed up against her desk.

"Lets see... "The woman said, as a tube flew down and landed onher desk. She unrolled the paper and raised an eyebrow as she read it.

"Accidental death. Reaper appointment. Hm.. ooh.. they must like you up there... Assignment, Hogsmeade station. New alias, Lysander Corvin. Scheduled for... an intelligence injection. Woah, lucky. Further assignments will be given to you by your group leader upon your arrival. Please put on these sunglasses. "

Harry took in as much information as he could and numbly reached for and put on the sunglasses. Almost immediately images and information started streaming accross his eyes. He grabbed his head in pain but it was over with quickly. He tore the sunglasses off and tossed them back on the woman's desk.

"Alright, you're cleared. Your dropoff time will be... midnight, July 21st, in a secure location. Your teammates will be waiting for you. Have a nice day."

She then took out a large stamp and stamped his papers, before handing him a copy and pressing another button.

Harry found himself zooming once again down a long tube, until the chair unceremoniously tipped over and he found himself falling, falling, falling into the darkness.

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Far away a pinprick of light formed until it became larger and larger. Harry had to shield his eyes as it came closer. He took a deep breath as he came upon it, and the next thing he knew he had landed on a hard surface with a loud thump.

He groaned into the floor, and was startled by a deep chuckling coming from the corner.

"Don't worry. It only hurts for a little bit. Let me help you up."

Harry's hand was gripped by a larger one and he let himself be pulled up, lifting his head.

Both of them stopped in their tracks.

"Sirius?"

"Harry?"

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Yes, this is a sort of Dead Like Me crossover, however it will have none of the people from DLM in it! Yay! Be aware, I'm not all that good with plots, and I'm posting a few of my better/amusing stories for reading. It might be a while before I get another chapter out, but hopefully just having it here on fanfiction will help!

And I'm not pressuring for reviews! I hate it when people say "review or I won't put up another chapter!" your reviewing would make me happy, but probably not encourage me all that much. xX

And yes, this is after fifth year. xX I've not quite decided who else would be in the team, but Harry will NOT be seeing his parents... yet. :O But they won't be reapers.


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